You’ve offered your child treatment at rehab and they say no… what’s next?
If you have already established boundaries-good, strong, and healthy boundaries-and your child says no to the drug rehab program that you have offered them, respect their no and back away. Reinforce that you will do anything to help them make changes in their life and that the bed at rehab will be there for them. Tell them that is a fact and one that you will commit to, but that you will do nothing to help them stay the same or get worse and you commit to that as well. Remind them that you love them, but this addiction has driven you crazy and that you have to back away from them momentarily for awhile because you need to heal and work on yourself. Lastly, tell them that if they can’t figure it out, to give you a call and that bed at rehab will be there.
Keep it simple. This is not the time to lecture your child. That wouldn’t do any good and honestly, they won’t hear it. Keep your words direct and to the point. And most importantly, hold firm to your boundaries and follow through with those boundaries and take this time to work on you. The key factor that your child needs to have is an experience out there to bring them to a point of desperation… an experience that will get them to a point of surrender. Don’t rob them of that experience and don’t enable their addiction in anyway one second longer.
Addiction is like a blazing fire, and fire needs certain elements to keep it burning such as oxygen, heat, fuel, and chemical reaction.
If you take any of these four things away, the fire will be extinguished. Addiction is similar, except the elements that it needs to keep it ablaze are things like enabling, unhealthy boundaries, codependency, poor coping skills, denial, etc. You can begin to extinguish the addiction by doing things differently, such as establishing healthy boundaries and ceasing all enabling behaviors. If you make changes and become a part of the solution, you put yourself ahead of the addiction, and that is exactly where you want to be.
For more information on the disease of addiction or enabling behaviors be sure to check out our other blogs. If you, or your loved one, is ready to get help call GraceWay Recovery Residence at 229-446-7800 today and speak to one of our admission counselors. If you are in need of a professional interventionist call 229-344-7402. We can help.