The 12 Steps of Getting Your Loved One into Treatment, and What to do After
Step 1: Recognize the Signs of Addiction/Alcoholism.
Don’t wait for “rock bottom”. Addiction is a deadly disease and your loved one could die while you wait for an elusive “rock bottom” that may never appear.
Step 2: Call our Admissions Line at 229-446-7800.
Each admissions counselor at GraceWay is skilled in answering the most difficult questions and will guide you painlessly through this process. They understand what you’re going through and will provide honest and compassionate feedback.
Step 3: Offer your Loved One this “Gift”.
Your loved one will likely feel ashamed to admit she’s been struggling. While you are confronting her addiction, be sure to use “I” statements. This will help prevent your loved one from becoming defensive and shutting down. Though you will likely feel frustrated and angry, try and keep calm and stick to the facts. Encourage her to see this opportunity as a gift. She is getting a chance at a whole new life.
Step 4: Cease All Enabling Behaviors.
This is crucial, not only now, but long-term as well. Enabling is defined as doing for others what they can and should be doing for themselves. If you are making it easy for your loved one to remain in active addiction by paying her bills, for her groceries, and her living expenses, then why would she want to get sober? You are taking care of everything for her! However, when you say “no more”, you are really saying that you will no longer be a part of the problem, and instead will finally be a part of the solution. If necessary, establish an ultimatum. Your loved one may become angry, and you will likely feel frustrated, but this is okay. Remember the bigger picture. Your main goal is to get her somewhere safe where she can begin her recovery journey and start to become whole again.
Step 5: Follow Through!
As soon as your loved one says yes, pack a bag and get her to GraceWay, or detox. This is a critical time period for your loved one. She will feel fear and she is going to want to use. She is going to think about changing her mind. Get your loved one to us quickly to let our trained staff handle everything from there.
Step 6: Breathe.
Your loved one is in a safe place now. She is beginning a whole new journey. We know you are tired. We understand your pain, anger, and disappointment associated with your loved one’s past addictive behaviors. Once you get back home, read the family packet that was given to you by our admissions counselor. Addiction is a family disease, and you are an integral part of her individualized recovery plan.
Step 7: Attend Al-Anon 12-Step Meetings.
While reading GraceWay’s family packet, you will come to a section that talks about Al-Anon meeting requirements. We require that each family member attend at least 6 meetings before the first family workshop. The meetings are invaluable to you. They will provide you an opportunity to be a part of your loved one’s recovery process by becoming a part of the solution. You have trusted us with your loved one. Now you need to trust us with your healing as well. You can find local meeting times and locations online.
Step 8: Resist the Urge to Call and “Check” on Your Loved One.
Remember that your loved one is in the hands of a staff of professionals. She is also surrounded by peers who are in the same situation and provide an additional support system for her while she is here. No news is good news. Your loved one will be very busy with daily 12-Step meetings and assignments and groups on the disease of addiction. She will be attending individual sessions and exercise classes. She will be eating a balanced diet. In other words, your loved one is in the hands of exactly who she needs to be in order to get the help she needs right now.
Step 9: Educate Yourself on the Disease of Addiction and Enabling Behaviors.
You may realize at this point that you have been enabling your loved one and are now wondering how you can change that. You can’t change your loved one, but you CAN change your behaviors and reactions toward her. Remember, if you are doing for her what she can do for herself, you are robbing her of her dignity.
Step 10: Take Suggestions.
Your loved one is here working hard every day. She is quite literally changing everything about herself; from her attitudes, behaviors, poor coping strategies, as well as ways of thinking and acting. This not only requires a lot of work but TIME as well. She is being guided by counselors who have been where she is at. She is being given suggestions that she has to be open-minded enough to hear and willing to take and follow through with. You may be given suggestions by our counselors over the course of your loved one’s journey at GraceWay. It’s imperative that you trust in the process, and follow through on your end as well.
Step 11: Recovery is a process, not an event.
There is no magic cure available for addiction. There are temporary “Band-Aids”; however, that is not what we believe in here at GraceWay. We know that complete abstinence is the only way to lasting, long-term sobriety, and a life of happiness and joy. To find this your loved one will need to completely alter the way she copes with life, and this does not happen overnight. Time takes time. Everyone is different and that means that each resident’s time spent here is different. While one may benefit from a shorter program, the next may need much longer. We are set up for long-term treatment because we know that it works.
Step 12: Embrace the three “C”s…
You didn’t CAUSE it. You cannot CONTROL it. You cannot CURE it. You are not responsible for your loved one’s addiction, and you are also not responsible for her recovery. She is. You cannot control your loved one’s addiction. We are sure that you have spent fruitless hours trying to. You also cannot control your loved one’s recovery. She has a Higher Power that is doing that now. Most importantly, you cannot cure it, and neither can we. We can, however, offer her a solution that will give her the tools to walk in freedom one day a time.